Nighty-night

I am so TIRED today. I did not sleep last night. I am still a bit sore and laying down seems to be the worst position I can be in, comfort-wise. I finally got up at 2:30 this morning and started doing some research on a class I am teaching on Song of Songs this Sunday. It was good because I got a lot accomplished since everyone else was asleep, but about 4:00 this afternoon I felt like I was crashing hard. There has been no time for napping today, though.

It sounds funny, but I think my raw foods give me more energy and "get through the day" than coffee. I used to drink 3-4 cups of coffee a day, especially during the afternoon to stay awake and get all the things done that I needed. Now I have coffee once in a blue moon and find that a green smoothie gives me much more stamina than a latte, with no headaches or let downs when the caffeine wears off.

However, no sleep is no sleep and I am also listening to my body's needs much more these days so I am off to bed early. Sweet dreams.

Life is good!

Sorry I did not blog yesterday -- I was emotionally exhausted after my biopsy and took the evening off. I got the news this morning that the biopsy was completely benign! I am so glad -- it is such a huge weight off my shoulders. The whole experience has been quite draining and I have so much respect for the women (and men) who have been and continue to go through the angst of not knowing what is going on with their bodies.

I am a little more sore and tired than I thought I would be, but that kinda goes along with my personality. I would like to be able to "take a licking and keep on ticking," but I am just not made that way. I am learning to be patient with myself and with the healing process. Going through this brought back so many memories of not so good news after my thyroid biopsy 2 and half years ago. The doctors had told me they fully expected my biopsy to be benign, but it came back probable cancer instead. That whole scenario was playing in the back of my head while I was waiting for the doctor to call.

I know it sounds weird, but in some ways, getting the good news this morning liberated me from that nebulous cloud that has been following me around since the whole thyroid thing. It has been like the bubble that hangs over a cartoon character's head expressing their feelings even when they are not talking. I have had that faint bubble of doubt hanging over my head asking, "Am I really okay?" Today, that bubble was burst! I can look at myself and say, "Yes, I really am okay!"

I have learned so much about myself over the past 2 and half years. Part of me would like to say that I would have been okay no matter the news, but I cannot say that for sure. I don't think you know what you are going to do or feel until you are there. But, what I do know for sure is that I am taking good care of myself. More than ever before I am being kinder and more patient with myself, and honoring my feelings. I am filling my body with good stuff -- good nutrients, lots of love, good thoughts, good words, people who care for me and about me, and good intentions. It is paying off, and life is good!

Wild Rumpus

Tomorrow is the big biopsy day. I have to say that although I really do think everything is going to be okay, I have been a lot more nervous than I thought I would be. I get moody and aggravated easily when I am nervous so today has been a little difficult; every little thing has been getting on my nerves or upsetting me. I think that it is a little more scary since the last biopsy I had they thought I had cancer. That was in my thyroid, and it turned out it wasn't even cancer, but it still was a long and complicated journey.

We went to the movies today thinking it would help me get my mind off of things a little bit. We saw Where the Wild Things Are. I was a little wary because I am typically not a fan of any book that is made into a movie, particularly childhood classics, but it was very well done. I cried through a good bit of the movie. It was probably good to get the tears out, but it left me feeling heavy-hearted. The movie was slow in some places and gave an almost uncomfortable amount of time to process the difficult feelings that reside in all of us. Not good for someone who was trying to avoid difficult feelings at this particular junction. Let the wild rumpus start! Since I had a little wild in me today it was appropriate and it did make me "deal." In the end a good howl made me feel better.

Raw Ethical Eating

Tonight I made my first raw pie. I don't know why I have waited so long because it was so easy and delicious! It has always intimidated me a little bit to try a pie. I should really say, my mom and I made chocolate cream pie. The crust was made from macadamia nuts, dried pineapple, and dates. The filling was raw cocoa nibs, a young coconut, coconut butter, dates, and vanilla. Then we froze it it so it would set (we didn't wait quite long enough, but it did not matter that much) and topped it with fresh raspberries.

We also made raw "fried" rice, vegetable sushi, and a seaweed salad. It all made for a very good dinner. I think my dad was surprised. He was kinda hanging around the kitchen with his lip curled up a little bit as we prepared it, but when he tasted it he liked it, and even said he thought he could get used to eating like this (as long as he could occasionally have a little meat). I think that would be great for him.

A high raw diet is not for everyone, but I do think that upping your raw intake will benefit almost everyone! The key is to listen to your own body and be sensible. When I first started eating a raw diet, I did crave some things, but the longer I stuck with it the less cravings I had. Now that I have learned so much about food and the food industries I don't think I could ever eat meat or poultry again. It doesn't even sound good.

I did not start eating this way for ethical reasons, largely because I was totally ignorant of how my food got on my table. However, eating raw has opened my eyes and mind to many things I did not expect when I began. Ethical eating is increasingly becoming a large part of why I eat what I eat. Some good books to start your own food education are Animal, Vegetable, Miracle by Barbara Kingsolver (she is not a vegetarian, but is an ethical consumer), and Food, Inc. (also a film). Just be prepared, once your read or watch them it will change how you view your meals.

Good food, good books, good music, GREAT company!

We took parents to Bliss tonight. Actually, I guess you could say that they took us -- they wanted to treat since it was my birthday last week. It was so very good! The new menu is not up yet, but they do have a couple of their new dishes available. My mom had spaghetti and "meatballs," my dad had margarita pizza, I had rawsagna, and Wayne had rawko tacos. We all tasted each others' meals and everyone had a delicious meal, as usual! For dessert my mom and I split an orange persimmon sheezecake that was so very good! I have got to learn how to make some of these desserts! Wayne and my dad split a white chocolate one, and it was also good, but ours was the bomb! Wayne and I both had a Chocolate Bliss elixir, Dad had Hemp Horchata, and Mom had Minty Hemp. They were impressed.

Miranda, one of the chefs, was there tonight, and she was so nice and friendly. She chatted with us about why she went raw in the first place (to look better) and all of the benefits she received from being raw (health) that help her stay raw. She said, "I am no longer addicted to my food." I think that is so true! I did not realize how addicted to my Standard American Diet I was until I started eating raw foods. Sugar and flour (white stuff) were the worst culprits and I did not realize the hold they had on me until I tried to eliminate them. Now, I enjoy and love my foods without feeling like I NEED them. When I finish eating somewhere like Bliss I feel happy, fulfilled, and healthy, not full, bloated, and full of gas. I also feel good about myself. I no longer think, "Gosh, I shouldn't have eaten that," or "I feel so fat," or "I can't believe I ate all of that."

After dinner we went to Half-Price Books, one of my favorite stores! It was fun just to prowl around by myself -- no kids. It is neat to look at all of the books. I got some books for school -- The Adventures of Tom Sawyer and some critical thinking books. We also got a couple of CDs, Willie Nelson and Johnny Cash. Good food, good books, good music, great company -- what more could I ask for?

Looking forward to some Bliss

I wore my new leggings today and got numerous compliments which made me feel really good! Like I said yesterday, I would never have even imagined myself buying, let alone wearing leggings even 6 months ago. Today I was receiving unsolicited compliments from strangers -- who would have thought?

Tomorrow my dad flies in and we are all so excited to see him! He is coming in early so I am keeping this short tonight because I have got to get some sleep. Dallas' Bliss Raw Food Cafe is calling my name; we are taking my parents there for dinner tomorrow. I hope their new menu is up and running.

Spread the Raw Love!

Today I went shopping with my mom. It is always fun to shop with mom. It is hard to believe that less than six months ago I was wearing a size 12 (probably should have been a size 14, but I was squeezing into my size 12 so I wouldn't have to buy a bigger size). Today, I was comfortably fitting into a size 6. YAHOO! It is even more fun to shop with mom when I look good in the clothes. It was fun just to play and try on things that I never would even consider before I lost 35 pounds. For instance, today I bought some leggings -- me, in leggings. I would not have been caught dead in leggings 5 months ago. Wayne loved my new things, too!

My mom is also becoming a green smoothie expert. Since she has been here I have been making her a green smoothie every morning. This morning she said she wanted to show off her own skills and she made me a green smoothie with peaches, bananas, spinach, a little raw agave, and some cinnamon. It makes me very happy to be able to share my new lifestyle with my family! Wayne, my mom, and my dad are all looking and feeling better. Wayne's brother is also trying some new and healthier foods and has added a lot more fresh fruits and veggies to his diet. He is pleased with the results and is excited that he feels healthier. I am going to continue to spread the raw love!

Cow Eyeball Dissection

We woke up at 5:00 this morning to drive 2 hours in the POURING down rain in order to go to Glen Rose, TX and dissect a cow's eyeball. We listened to The Story of the World (a wonderful history book for children on CD) on the way. It was really fun! We listened to the story of Gilgamesh, the story of how silk was discovered, and learned about the citadel cities in Africa that mysteriously disappeared. Very interesting.

Then we got to Fossil Rim and got our cow eyeballs. Jake and Emma just sat and stared at it first. No one wanted to touch it, let alone make the first cut. Jake finally picked up the scalpel and just kinds poked at it until he figured out he was actually going to have to hold the eyeball in his hand to make an incision. Emma just sat there saying things like, "gross," "eeewww," "this is so nasty," until I made her take a turn and finish cutting the rest of the cornea off. The class was GREAT and the instructor walked them through every step. By the end of the lab they were comfortable and even having a good time. It was a good day for home schooling. I am so glad that I have the opportunity to be with my children every day and expose them to so many different learning experiences!

Since we left so early this morning I did not have my green smoothie for breakfast -- I did not want to wake Phillip with the Blender. I made one for dinner, though and my dog, Clyde, was so excited to hear the blender start up. I think he enjoys the green smoothies as much as I do. My mom thinks it is hilarious that he comes running when he hears it.

Appreciate Your Food

Tomorrow Jake and Emma and Mom and I are heading to Glen Rose to go to Fossil Rim for the day. We are going there to dissect a cow's eyeball. I think it is really going to be cool for them to see how an eye works. We have not been to any of the home school activities there before so it will be good to see if that is something we in which we would like to be more involved. I hope it is not pouring down rain when we finish because we would love to take Mom through the park.

Mom and I made Pistachio Paradise "cookies" from a Boutenkos recipe today. They are YUMMY and not too hard to make. We had fun digging into the bowl and rolling the cookies around in coconut. They have that salty sweet dichotomy going on that makes them very satisfying. My mom said she was noticing how much more "hands on" my food is. I had not really thought about it that way before, but she is right. Perhaps that is why I have felt like I have noticed my food more -- because I am touching it, feeling it, slicing and seeding it, smelling it, etc. When you have so much contact with your food before you eat it then you appreciate it more, at least I do.

Manic Monday -- send me some good vibes!

I am recovering from a very busy, but very fun weekend. My mom is visiting and I am so glad that she is here! We had two soccer games, a shopping excursion, went to the fair, and had a birthday party for my son Phillip this weekend. I am pooped, and Monday morning hit me like a ton of bricks.

I left Phillip's lunch and backpack at home this morning when I took him to school. Jake and Emma had swimming lessons so I had to drop them off, race home, and then back to Phillip's school with his things. After swimming we headed off to the doctor's office. Last week I found a lump in my right breast. I did not think much about it, but my husband is in the business of cancer pathology so he made me an appointment to see about it.

I had my mammogram and an ultrasound and was relieved to find out that it was just fatty fibrous tissue, completely normal for a woman of my age (ha! ha!). However, they did fid a tumor in my other breast -- GO FIGURE! The doctor is pretty sure that it is nothing to worry about by the way it appears, but the only way to be 100% sure is to have a biopsy of it. I am going to do that next Tuesday. The good news is I have no family history of breast cancer. The bad news is they have to stick a big ass needle into my boob! I would be lying if I said I was not the slightest bit afraid. I know I won't feel much at all because I have local anesthesia for the procedure, but the truth is, I am glad my Mommy is here. I just want to surround myself with happy thoughts and all the love I can get!

Ultimately, the news the doctor gave me today was good news, but it was all so emotional that I was exhausted! I rested for a few minutes, but then it was off to soccer and choir. It was good to be busy because it kept my mind off of it. This week is going to be a long week. I am going to do a lot of praying, centering, meditating and filling my body with good, healthy foods. I will be glad when I know for sure. Please, if you think about it this week, send me some good vibes and healing thoughts.

My Interview is Now Online!

My interview with Beatrice Johnston is up! Check it out at http://www.therawroutine.com --- so COOL! Thank you Beatrice! Doing this interview really helped me to solidify in my own mind just how far I have come and what this lifestyle has meant to me and the people I love. The interview has really energized me and my determination to continue making healthy choices.

My mom arrived late yesterday afternoon. It is so nice to have her here. My dad is not retired yet, so he is working and will arrive in about a week. It just feels comfortable when they are here. It makes Texas feel more like home to me.

Sorry I did not blog yesterday. Sometimes life gets so busy and the day is over before you know it. I am up early this morning thinking, "I need to list a helpful raw food site for yesterday." So here goes, www.RawFamily.com is a very helpful site. This is the Boutenko family website. This family is hard core raw, so do not be intimidated, because with that comes so much wisdom about eating raw. This family has made a conscious choice about what they put into their bodies and why they do it. Their stories are very inspiring and I love, love, love their recipe books. Be sure to check it out!

My interview with Beatrice Johnston is up! Check it out at http://www.therawroutine.com --- so COOL!

Here Comes the Sun!

We actually saw the sun shine this afternoon! It was so nice. The weather in north Texas has been less than desirable the last few weeks. When the yellow globe finally peered out from behind the curtain of grey, we felt like singing Hallelujah! Although it was definitely not "sunny" today, it is going to be this weekend. We have lots planned for the weekend, too. My mom drives in tomorrow (can't wait!), we are going to the Texas State Fair, we have soccer games, and Phillip's 5th birthday party is this weekend. Life is busy!

I am browsing through recipes trying to decide what I want to make in my new dehydrator first. I thought I would just whip something up real fast last night, but when I finally sat down to decide, I changed my mind. I want the first thing I make to be something I REALLY want to eat. It might be kinda fun to try it out with my mom, too. My mom has been eating mostly raw for a little while now.

As promised, I want to give you a helpful website for those of you considering a raw food lifestyle. Today, I want to tell you about http://mattmonarch.blogspot.com. Matt Monarch and his wife, Angela Stokes, are raw food enthusiasts. They are very inspiring and very informative. One GREAT thing about this blog is that they make lots of instructional videos about how to prepare food, which product is easier to use, etc. I saw Matt and Angela speak in Dallas early on in my raw food journey and they made all of the overwhelming information about switching to raw foods seem very doable.

Thirty-six and Counting!

Today was the big day -- I am now 36 years old. I can't believe it! I don't feel 36 years old, and thanks to my new found health, I don't look 36 either! Emma told me that I look much younger than other moms (I love that child!). Seriously though, it is not really anything about "how" I look; it is about feeling comfortable in my skin. It is about being happy and able to do and participate in all of the things I want. It is about feeling confident in myself and good about my choices.

Speaking of choices, I am posting pics of everything I ate today. Many of you ask what in the world I eat all day, so here one days worth. For breakfast I had a smoothie with kale, pineapple, coconut, and banana. For lunch I had a salad made with butter lettuce, raw cashews, strawberries, and blueberries. The dressing was a little olive oil and some apple cider vinegar ( not 100% raw, but pretty darn close). For dinner I had some raw salads from Whole foods (one was broccoli, dried cranberries, purple onions, and raw cashews and slivered almonds; one was julienned veggies with a little olive oil and some herbs; one was cucumbers with purple onions and dill) I also has a raw food bar made by Go Raw for a snack. I love these bars, and they are the only bar I have found that is 100% raw. They are also very yummy! There is only one thing I ate that is not pictured, it was a raw chocolate tart from a local company called Hail Merry! It was my "birthday cake," and I was so excited about eating it, that I forgot to take a picture of it -- Sorry! Take my word for it, it was delicious! Jake and Emma thought I was joking when I told them it was 100% raw because it was "the BEST chocolate cake they ever had."

The other REALLY cool thing that happened to me today is that Beatrice Johnston from http://rawpathways.com interviewed me for her blog. I am so honored! She is so inspiring and the fact that she wanted to interview me is truly humbling. She will be posting the interview soon, so watch for it! Her blog is excellent, and I am sure you are going to love it! So, her website is tonight's helpful site -- make sure to check it out! Beatrice has been a vegetarian for 23 years and currently eats a high raw diet! She continues to make choices in her life that promote her health, happiness, well-being, and relationships with God and others. She is very inspirational!!!

Grocery Escapades and Musings

Last night we went to the grocery store. My basket was filled with lots of greens -- kale, rainbow chard, Romaine lettuce, butter lettuce, dandelion greens, etc. I also had a couple bottles of G. T.'s Kombucha Tea because my mom is coming and I want her to taste it. Of course I also had lots of fresh fruit and some things like red peppers, cucumbers, jicima, cilantro, and dill. When we went to check out Phillip wanted to see the fish in the tank at the front of the grocery store (Yes, they have a huge saltwater fish tank inside the grocery store, this is Texas after all). I took Phillip over to see the fish and Wayne went through the checkout line.

I can see Wayne from where the fish tank is and the women who are running his lane are laughing and giving him a hard time about his grocery basket. One holds up the jicama and asks him what it is. He tells her and the other girl asks him how to "fix" that. Wayne is standing in the grocery aisle telling them how I cut it up like french fries and make my own ketchup (Thank you Boutenko's -- wonderful recipe), or how I make a corn salad with jicama, tomatoes, and cilantro and use it on raw tacos. The ladies are looking at him like, "Are you serious?" One of them finally asks, "How does your wife know how to use all of this stuff?" Then he explained that I was on a raw diet. They thought that was really cool, and they thought it was cool that Wayne really liked the food, too (all but the Kombucha, but I am still working on him).

The whole thing got me thinking, though, that before I decided to eat raw foods I had no idea what to do with this food either. I knew how to scramble eggs, make a pie or cake, grill a steak on the grill, and make a basic salad, but I had no clue how to really pick or prepare the things that are really good for me. I would pass by the greens section of the grocery store like most all of the other people I see at the grocery every time I go. Now, it is my favorite section to load up.

If you want to succeed on a raw diet it takes time to figure out what to eat, where to find it in the grocery store, and how to prepare it. It takes a little bit effort, because most of us are not taught the proper ways to eat (and there is a lot of temptation and pressure to eat things that are not so good for us). Once I started taking responsibility for what I was putting into my mouth, though, I found that I viewed food differently. I discovered tastes that had previously been foreign and learned to really enjoy my food because it tastes good and I know it is doing something good for my body. Now, it is not hard to shop at all. I know where everything I want is located and I don't even have to go into the interior aisles of the store. I do all of my shopping in the fruit and veggies and then skip over to the nuts and dried fruits, and finally to the almond milk and I am out the door -- much faster than the SAD shopping (Standard American Diet) I did before I changed my diet.

Let me assure you, there are LOTS of resources out there to help you along the way. When I started I googled raw food diet, raw food recipes, easy raw recipes and came up with tons of stuff! One of the websites that was extremely helpful to me as a complete beginner raw person was www.purejeevan.com. Check it out. It is very user friendly! This week, I will try and put one website up per night that I have personally found helpful. Hope you enjoy them as much as I have.

Raw Success

I can't believe the weekend is almost over already. We tried to do a bit of Christmas shopping this weekend. We did not get that much accomplished, but at least we got started. Wayne and I were also able to spend a little bit of time alone, which was very nice! It is nice to be with the whole family, but it is also nice to be just the two of us every once in a while.

I am so excited about this upcoming week! My birthday is Tuesday, Phillip's birthday is Thursday, and my mom is coming for a visit on Thursday as well. Friday, we are taking our "Columbus Day" off of school and spending the day at the Texas State fair! Saturday we have a soccer game and next Sunday is Phillip's birthday party. It is going to be a busy and fun week. I am looking forward to trying some new raw food recipes with my mom -- I may try some "harder" stuff like preparing Irish Moss and making raw chocolate pie.

When Wayne and I went to the Raw food Meet-up in our community a couple of weeks ago, one of the women we met there loaned me a DVD called Raw Success. It is about 6 people who take a challenge to cure their diabetes in 30 days. All of this occurs under a doctor's supervision of course. The DVD was so inspiring -- it gave me new motivation for continuing my raw food lifestyle. I have never had Diabetes or anything, but I do feel as though raw foods are responsible for most, if not all, of my own return to health. If you get the chance, check it out, I guarantee you will be inspired!

On another note, many of you felt more comfortable emailing me well- wishes and concerns after I postponed my cleanse. On one hand, I received very supportive comments to follow through with the Master Cleanse in the near future. On the other hand, I received some emails of concern about the Master Cleanse. Let me assure you all I have done a good bit of research on the Cleanse, but I promise you all I will look into even more before I do it. If any of you have any info you think I should look at, in favor or against, please let me know.

Master Cleanse Delayed

Thank you to everyone for your well wishes and support on my cleanse. Please keep all of that support in your front pocket because I will need it again soon. For now, I am postponing the remainder of the cleanse due to my friends' and families' disappointment with my plans considering it is my birthday next week and they had made some special plans. At first, I thought I would just keep going with the cleanse, but then I realized it really wasn't very good timing. Two days after my birthday is Phillip's birthday, and my parents are coming to visit and I want to take them to a Raw Food Meetup and to Bliss Cafe (a delicious raw food restaurant). So, the cleanse is still on, but delayed a bit -- when I do it, I want to be able to fully concentrate on what I am trying to achieve.

I did do the cleanse today, though. (Poor Wayne, he didn't know whether to say anything or not, but finally expressed his disappointment late this afternoon. I am glad he told me.) Anyway, my impression of the cleanse is, "WOW!" Let me say first, my colon feels pretty darn clean. I cannot imagine what could be left after doing it for even one day. That being said, I did feel like I had more energy and that I was in a better mood. I felt a little hungry at times, but when I felt hungry I drank a lemonade and the hunger subsided. I wasn't tired at all, and that was something because I did not sleep well last night due to some thunder storms moving through our area. The salt water was a little bit nasty, but I made it so it was warm and drank it through a straw and that definitely helped me get it all down. Also, I was definitely glad I was near a toilet for a few hours. Neither of these things was bad enough to scare me off from doing the full cleanse. I am glad that I found the cleanse and my experience with it today makes me want to follow through on the 10 day cleanse soon! I am thinking I will start October 29th or 30th -- that will be a good way to stay away from all of the Halloween candy and reaffirm my health commitments. I will keep you updated! Thanks again for all of your support!

The Master Cleanse

I have decided I am going to do a Master Cleanse. If you have not heard of it before, think lemonade diet. I have been doing some research on it for a couple of weeks because I have started to feel a little tired and crankier than normal. Also I am feeling a little bit backed up, if you know what I mean. I remembered reading about the possibility that this could happen once I started eating a raw food diet. The logic, as I understand it, is that I ate badly for a very long time. My new diet has allowed my body to heal and transform, but I have kind of a build up of all the bad stuff just waiting to be "flushed away" (quite literally, in fact).

I want to make clear that I am not doing this cleanse to lose weight. I am going to be accountable for the number of calories I take into my body. I am doing the cleanse so that my body can release all of the junk I don't need anymore. I am also doing the cleanse in hopes to regain my vibrancy and mood. Since my cheese binge a couple of weeks ago I have felt some cravings for some old comfort foods that are not good for me or healthy for my body. I want to completely get rid of those cravings and am hoping the cleanse will remind me that I am in control of my food and food choices -- food (and my emotions surrounding it) are NOT in control of me. Finally, I mentioned earlier this week that I feel change stirring in my soul and I am hoping that the cleanse will help me gain some clarity and perspective on where I am in my life right now. I was wrong about the finally part, I also want to do the cleanse because I want to be accountable to myself and my health. I have come too far with my new raw food lifestyle to turn back now. My health is better than ever and I want it to stay that way -- if the cleanse will help me do it, then I am all for it. Oh, I just thought of one more reason I want to do the cleanse -- I cannot bring myself to do an enema or colonics (something many raw food gurus recommend) at this point in my journey. I am not saying they are not good or warranted, I am just saying they are not for me at this time.

Stanley Burroughs developed the Lemonade diet in the 1940's, but the information about the diet is most accessible and accurate through Peter Glickman's book, Lose Weight, Have More Energy & Be Happier in 10 Days. I have read it from cover to cover and I am ready to begin. There is also a very helpful website by Peter Glickman -- http://therawfoodsite.com/index.html

Basically, you eat nothing for 10 days. You drink a cup of Smooth Move tea before bed each night. In the morning you mix some salt (not iodized) with 32 oz of water. Then you make lemonade from organic lemons, cayenne pepper, and Grade B maple syrup. You are allowed 6 - 12 glasses of lemonade during the day and all the water you want. All of the specifics for amounts and how to mix the ingredients are on the website I posted above. The book states that you may experience some detox symptoms, especially the first couple of days, but that they soon pass. It also talks in detail about those symptoms so you know how to recognize and deal with them better. In other words, if you are going to embark on the cleanse yourself, PLEASE take the time to read the book and decide for yourself if it is for you or not.

Anyway, I am both nervous and excited about starting the cleanse tomorrow. I will keep you updated and let you know how it goes. Please wish me luck! This pic was taken this evening (yes, I cut off all my hair -I love it!), I will take more pics along the way so you can see for yourself if there is any difference.

Things I have learned on my Journey

I have had several people email me about my blog yesterday. It seems as though many of you are familiar with this uneasy feeling of which I speak. Let me say, one must be careful with what one says (writes). Yesterday I said I was going to embrace the feeling, pray, and meditate on it and try to be open to what came my way. Well, today I was invited to write a series of articles for the hypoparathyroidism association (HPTH) on my journey with the condition. I was also asked to teach a class to Presbyterian women on the book of Joshua. (For those of you who are unaware, I am a Presbyterian minister.) Anyway, I have learned, once again, that all I have to do is say I am ready (and mean it) and the doors will open. It is the "meaning it" part that is sometimes difficult.

The book of Joshua is not my favorite book and I will need to do some research to teach it in a way that will do it justice. It is definitely not what I would have chosen, but perhaps there is something there that I need right now. It feels good to be busy again. I am teaching a Sunday school class on Song of Solomon in the month of November. That will be kinda fun -- it is neat to teach a class that deals with something so taboo in our culture, especially when it comes to religion --SEX. Finally, in December I am teaching a seminar on the Marys in the New Testament. Fun! Six months ago I would have never attempted to do all of these things, which felt so strange to me since I was accustomed to doing much more than that before my health issues.

Now, I am feeling more and more like me every day. In fact, I think I am feeling even better than the "old me." As part of my self awakening and acceptance of what has happened in my life over the last two and half years I thought I might make another list. The following is what my journey over the past two and a half years has taught me:

1. Life is too short not to absolutely LOVE what you are doing and the people you chose to have around you!

2. When "experts" tell you there is no other way, you should always question their motives and do your own research.

3. Never be afraid to seek a second, third, or even fourth opinion.

4. Listen to your own intuition and make sure you know your body's signals -- it is very SMART, trust it!

5. Don't be afraid to try something new. When I decided to try a raw food diet many people were curious, but most thought I was little crazy and wondered if I was going to become a "crunchy post-hippie tree-hugger." I truly believe raw foods have given me my life back (and helped me embrace the crunchiness I've had in me all along.)

6. Never be afraid to ask for help. When I first got sick I thought I had to just go on at the same pace as always so that I wouldn't let other people down, and so they would think I was fine. When I quit trying to hide how miserable I felt and asked for help, I found it.

7. Life is too short to worry about what other people think about how I dance or sing. I am not very good at either, but I enjoy both.

8. Pets are a source of unconditional love. I have two of the best dogs in the world, two super-wonderful birds, 2 frogs, and 3 hermit crabs. My menagerie never fails to bring me joy.

9. Life is too short not to notice the beauty which surrounds us every day. Whether it be the sunrise, sunset, a piece of beautiful music or artwork, the moon, a flower, an insect, or the smile on a face.

10. Tell the people you love that you love them. Do this often -- and follow it up with action. Do not let them doubt your love for one, single minute.

11. Give of yourself everyday. This does not necessarily mean "help others" or "volunteer to help someone/thing." This means give of YOURSELF, not out of obligation, but out of love.

11. Give thanks every day.

On that note, thank you for reading my blog.

Thinking about Change and the Future

Have you ever had that vague feeling that you are just ready to do something more in your life? Do you ever get bored or tired with the status quo and think, "there has got to be more to life than this." My purpose is haunting me -- if only it would just be blunt with me and tell me where I need to be and exactly what skills I need to cultivate and develop so I can get there. That would be nice. I feel myself getting tired of waiting around for life to happen to me. Last time I got this way I drastically changed my eating patterns and changed my life. I improved my health and wowed my doctors. Now I can feel something brewing again.

It makes me both nervous and excited to feel this way. I think the hardest part of wanting more out of life or for myself is making the decision to do something about it. It is always scary to disrupt the status quo and adopt a new habit or way of being. The letting go of what is and has been is always scary. Then there is the not knowing what is next and how you will respond to what is just around the corner.

Right now I am going to live with this uneasy feeling and embrace it. I am going to face it head on, I am going to pray about it, meditate on it, keep making healthy choices for myself and my family, and know that I will know the next step when the time comes.

Smoothie recipes

We were riding in the car today, in between the library and swimming lessons, when Jake announced that he had an idea for a new invention. I asked him what it was and this is what he said, "I want to invent a shelf in the shower that is protected by waterproof glass. Inside it is a bookstand and you can prop your book up on the stand and then shut the glass. There is a button or a remote control in the shower so you can push a button and turn the page whenever you want. The pages never get wet! You can read in the shower." Pretty clever. I had to smile to myself as I thought about how much I like that he loves to read.

On a completely separate note, I made a couple of excellent green smoothies today. The first I drank all by myself, but the second one everyone enjoyed. The first had half of a bunch of spinach, a mango, a frozen banana and the juice from 3 oranges. The second had the water of a young coconut. Half of a head of romaine lettuce, a mango, and two frozen bananas. Even Phillip drank it! We called it our super-green smoothie complete with flying around the den.

October Recital

I love October! The leaves change, it gets a little cooler, and I turn a year older. My mom says this is the time of year when the trees quit practicing and put on their recital. I have been finding myself thinking back to a year ago. I felt so far from being "recital-worthy." I am AMAZED what a year can do!

This time last year I was discovering my first (of many) kidney stones. I was tired all of the time, felt like I wasn't able to concentrate, couldn't understand how I could exercise all of the time and not lose weight, and quite frankly, I was suffering from depression. It was beginning to feel like I was in a medical spiral downward and I couldn't see how to get out of it. Little did I know that about six months later I would hear about the benefits of a raw food diet on the evening news from a woman who had been suffering from cancer. That news segment would stick in my head. It would grow from being some extra tidbit of information filed somewhere in the back of my head, to a curiosity, to something interesting, to a research obsession, and finally to a lifestyle.

This time last year I was dreading my birthday -- the previous two years my body felt like it had aged 10 years in 365 days. I could not see how I could ever get back to "normal." That was one thing I was right about; there was no way for me to get back to the way I was, but there was a way for me to feel better than "normal." When I began my raw food diet the energy was the first thing I noticed, then my skin seemed to clear up and improve right before my eyes, and my mood seemed to shift and suddenly life was exciting and full of promise again. That was all in the first two weeks. However, I was still not convinced -- any fad diet can make you feel better, at least for a little while. The proof is in the pudding.

Funny how things work, isn't it? In this short year I feel like the clock has turned backwards for me. My medical difficulties have resolved. Fear and depression no longer have power over me, and I believe in myself. My food no longer makes me sick. I have lost 35 pounds. My skin has stayed clear and I continue to have an abundance of energy. I am excited about my birthday this year! Look out trees -- I might just show you up!

TOP TEN REASONS FOR EDUCATING MY CHILDREN THE WAY I DO

Why is it that whenever you choose to educate your children differently people feel like they have the right to comment on your choices? It seems like when you home school, choose to be vegetarian/vegan/raw, or educate your children on the reality of drugs and sex some people act like they get to vote on (or worse, tell you) how you do that. I am really having a hard time with this lately. I am trying to keep my children as safe, healthy, and informed as possible. When I explain that I am home schooling my children or that we eat a raw diet people often look at me like I have three heads. I have had many people ask straight out, "why do you even want to do that?" My smart ass answer is "because I do."

However, my real reasons are:

1. I want my children to not only have knowledge, but wisdom. I don't only want them to know how to get an answer, but why they even care about getting an answer. I want them to know the reasons why they chose the answer the did, and the values and beliefs that helped them solve a particular problem.

2. I want them to know that not all people have the same values and beliefs that they do and that is not necessarily a bad thing.

3. I want to have an open and honest age-appropriate relationship with my children. While I want to be friendly with them, I do not want to be their best friend. I want them to know that people wear many different hats and none of those hats completely define them as a person.

4. I want them to know that all people make mistakes and all people fail at one point or another. Failure and mistakes are part of what helps us grow and learn, and we should view them as such.

5. I want them to realize that life is filled with temptations, whether they be food, sex, drugs, pornography, gambling, etc., and that even "good" people can be tempted by bad things and that does not make them bad. I want them to have as much information as possible so that when they are tempted (and they will be) they have all of the information they need to make good decisions.

6. I want them to know they, and the people they love, will not always make good decisions, but that one bad decision does not prevent them from making better ones in the future.

7. I want my children to feel good about themselves and their bodies. Their bodies are gifts and they need to treat them with great care and loving attention.

8. I want my children to learn empathy, understanding, the value of different points of view. I want them to learn how to honor their intuition, listen to others, and make up their own minds about difficult issues instead of just following the crowd.

9. I want my children to honor themselves as individuals, and individuals as they would themselves.

10. I want my children to be thankful, considerate of others, and willing to lend a helping hand to those in need.

I feel better now. Let me also say, I do not believe that home schooling, eating a raw food diet, and educating children on sex and drugs is the ONLY way to accomplish these things, but it is OUR way of accomplishing these things, and I feel very good about it.