Life is good!

Sorry I did not blog yesterday -- I was emotionally exhausted after my biopsy and took the evening off. I got the news this morning that the biopsy was completely benign! I am so glad -- it is such a huge weight off my shoulders. The whole experience has been quite draining and I have so much respect for the women (and men) who have been and continue to go through the angst of not knowing what is going on with their bodies.

I am a little more sore and tired than I thought I would be, but that kinda goes along with my personality. I would like to be able to "take a licking and keep on ticking," but I am just not made that way. I am learning to be patient with myself and with the healing process. Going through this brought back so many memories of not so good news after my thyroid biopsy 2 and half years ago. The doctors had told me they fully expected my biopsy to be benign, but it came back probable cancer instead. That whole scenario was playing in the back of my head while I was waiting for the doctor to call.

I know it sounds weird, but in some ways, getting the good news this morning liberated me from that nebulous cloud that has been following me around since the whole thyroid thing. It has been like the bubble that hangs over a cartoon character's head expressing their feelings even when they are not talking. I have had that faint bubble of doubt hanging over my head asking, "Am I really okay?" Today, that bubble was burst! I can look at myself and say, "Yes, I really am okay!"

I have learned so much about myself over the past 2 and half years. Part of me would like to say that I would have been okay no matter the news, but I cannot say that for sure. I don't think you know what you are going to do or feel until you are there. But, what I do know for sure is that I am taking good care of myself. More than ever before I am being kinder and more patient with myself, and honoring my feelings. I am filling my body with good stuff -- good nutrients, lots of love, good thoughts, good words, people who care for me and about me, and good intentions. It is paying off, and life is good!

The BIG 3 - 0hhh

Today I hit the big 3....0! No, I am not 30 years old -- that was quite some time ago. I have lost 30 pounds since I started eating raw (about 4 months). I am really excited! When I began eating a raw diet losing weight was not my primary goal. Rather, I wanted to heal my body. That being said, I believe that losing weight has helped me heal my body. It is no longer under added stress, and losing weight (that doctors told me I would just have to live with because of my thyroid) has boosted my confidence and energy levels.

For two years after my surgery my primary complaint to my family was that I felt as if my surgery aged me ten years. I felt sluggish and tired all of the time. My medical complications and the medicines I had to take for them made me feel sick and sometimes, even in pain. I was not happy. When I looked in the mirror, my image of myself did not match what I saw and I felt disconnected from my body. I felt lost in my own skin.

Today, when I look in the mirror I see me! Not only do I feel like I my age again, I feel 10 years younger than my age! Tonight I am celebrating the restoration of my mind, body, and spirit!